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Who am I…the deadly seven May 14, 2007

Posted by modoathii in Uncategorized.
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Kwanza kuna vile nilingachanikiwa kuona nimetagiwa…now what the? Methu the sellah, wewe! Nimekuwekea Unwanted Ati sasa ni lazima ni unleash mavitu saba za me? Wacha nijaribu. Of course, top on many guys lists is what’s my name? And what do I look like? Poleni. Mimi ni mimi. I’m a simple dude. And here are my deadly seven…

1: “Who are you?”

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No one knows me, yet everyone thinks they do. First I have a million and one names, and I’ve once heard two guys discussing the same person without knowing it’s the same person. And I’m always ROTFLMAO! And I never tell them. Modoathii, is the wild and crazy me, he’ll do anything and everything you don’t expect. Fearless and daring. When called by my other ‘certain name’, you get the easy, relaxed me. He wears jeans and hangs out a lot. Has fun, laughs a lot and takes nothing seriously. Call me by my “Official name” you get a total stranger. It’s the official me. He’ll be found in meetings, court rooms and police stations. Is too serious for life. He never goes anywhere. Never takes chances. Usually if you know “official name” first, you’ll only know him for a few very short minutes then “certain name” will fight his way and take over…and that’s the real me. He’s the six below…and more…

2: “Modoathii yuko wapi?”

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That’s me. Master Dodger of the limelight! There’s nothing I hate more than being the ‘master piece’. Anything that will make me stick out like a stray dog’s willies I will try and avoid (like this post). During a harambee, never make the mistake of making me a master of ceremony, I won’t show up. And if I do come I’ll conveniently slip away just before you call me. Wedding na funeral sijui nitafanya. In a crowd of more than two humans, I’m the quiet one. Usually sitting there wrongly misleading everyone into thinking I’m a quiet good boy (which I am, anyway) until we are just the two of us. I’ll sit back and study the group, just want to confirm what kind of madness they subscribe to…So it’s no wonder I can fit in any crowd. Snobbish, nitakua. Marowdy, nitakua. Maholy, nitakua. Mabhangi…nikose?

3. “Don’t ask me how you look in that!”

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I’m the most honest idiot around. I think I am. In fact thanks to my honesty I have lost many a girlfriend. Never ask me for an honest opinion. You will get it. And it comes out in such a matter of fact way that you think me outright uncaring. I don’t like lying, though I love exercising my creativity by telling half-truths. Catch me with my pants down though and you have the truth, unedited, flowing like tuskers.

4. “Sawa, I’ll do it!”

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If you hear this statement after I have shown resistance to your request, just know it won’t be done. Or it will be done, eventually…even if it’s a month later. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very helpful guy. I go out of my way to help others more than myself. All you have to do is ask nicely. Don’t come demanding it be done. And if it’s unreasonable, I’ll show resistance to do it, and if you insist, nitasema tu “sawa” ndio uniondokee, lakini jua tu, haifanywi.

5. “Twende!”

photo-11b.jpg
That’s my reaction to every and any plot. Modoathii twende carni? Twende! Modoathii twende UG? Twende. In this case, Modo tuhepe job (says the zungz)? Twende! So long as the plot has ‘raha’ written all over it, ‘modoathii’ will be all over it. I never care who is going, what the plot is…hizo tutajulia mbele. Guys know. I’m usually on plot lists even without being asked. In future, I foresee trouble when a mama comes into the picture. Itabidi ajipange. I’m too much of a free spirit.

6. “Sipigi!”

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I’m a jeans and tee-shirt kind of guy. Reason sipendi kupiga pasi. But once in a rare while I’ll reluctantly turn on the iron and I’ll be seen in a shirt. But never f**ked in. My ideal jeans, torn or dirty, whichever comes first. And faded. Naturally faded. Hakuna ati designer Fulani kule okoi anapitisha Jik, du.. I don’t like crispy new clothes. I hate smelling like a shop. Usitake kuona what I used to do when I was in primo. Sina time ya urembo mob. Shower, wear cleanest shirt, wear pararad jeano, chapa marashi ya undercover (not the prominent), chapa open ama simple njums and bounce away…five minutes dressing…max.

7. “You worry!”

photo-15.jpg
My favourite and famous line. Why do guys worry about other people? Why do people worry about their problems? Why worry? Every problem has a solution, every! So instead of worrying about how broke you are, move on. Two days later you’ll still be broke. Fifteen days later you’ll be paid. So why worry? Instead of worrying for 17 days about kusota, move on. Just know somehow you will get by, don’t worry how, and just get by. It’s also my favourite line when guys are hassling me about my business, which is none of theirs.

Bonus…

“It’s morning!”
This is my happiest moment. It explains why I’m always the happy child everyday and everywhere I go. I woke up, that’s the best news I could get any day. People always ask me why I’m always happy, my answer, “I woke up.” What more could one ask? Na sio ati naogopa kifo…ishna! Ikikuja ije…you worry!

Bottom line, I’m a simple yet complex guy who goofs a lot, always keeps his word, loves to do things differently (I’m a creative unataka ni-do?), cares less, worries zero, fears only hurting others, is scaringly (sic) honest, who enjoys life to the fullest, loves lurking in the shadows and will over 90% of the time have a smile on his face. Which brings me to my picture…
photo-7.jpg

I can’t post my face. Reason being, this isn’t Modoathii. Modoathii haonekanangi. Hana sura.

Who do I tag who hasn’t been tagged? Nusu Mbili, Bantutu , Wanja Shoodren, Mocha, and so on and so forth…William Tell where are you…drat, TAGGED!

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Comments»

1. dkwin - May 14, 2007

Inakaa mi ndo fun namba moja… I ask nicely.. Si you post your face tuone, the face behind the sexy body.. 😀
All round person… hmmmm

sexy body? where? picha mkitaka kuona ni utakuja na kamera yako pekee yako. camenje yangu imekata kunipiga self portrait. wassap fan numero uno?

2. jadekitten - May 14, 2007

Damn! I got beat to me spot! Washa nigathome!

mtoto mpotevu, what do you expect?

3. jadekitten - May 14, 2007

HMMM!
Happy-go-lucky…that I knew, hata siku za A-TBW hehe…
As for the rest, very helpful. Sasa imabaki tu ni-do Fwd to guardian angel…tihiii….

you ain’t got nathing against me. we na guardian angel wako nitawarudisha heaven…

4. inexes - May 14, 2007

Modo @ no. 3 photo, i can see a hint of a bust > ama nikuinua chuma sana mpaka imepanua kifua?

5. inexes - May 14, 2007

just kidding – of course i know it aint you. 🙂
lakini number 4 – u fight sana?

i’ve only fought twice in my entire life. nikiwa mnaju…na niliwashwa!

6. Bomseh - May 14, 2007

No. 4. Maze umeoza mikono. vita niniii?
and does that clock ever change the hour hand? ama you have specific time to play with the camera?

si vita daddi. mi ni modhii moja hapendi vita, hizo ni memories of a happy painful childhood. clock imeisha ngata…

7. Ichiena - May 15, 2007

Haki you are mad! How did I miss this jameni? Ati here I was nataka kukutag kisha nagutuka kuona memories of a certain very scary picture post not long ago!

Haki hata mimi sipendi kupiga pasi – laundry suits, piga blouse collar na chest na story kwisha. Koti haivuliwi ofisini hata tukifika 40 degrees…hehehe.

8. Komi - May 15, 2007

You sound like a really nice guy. So what do you do when you go out? Sit and have pints, dance, chapa storos til morning, what? Curious tu.

i leave the ‘nice’ for y’all to decide. ushawai watch happy feet? music moves me. i dance like crazy…but i need space. hizi bar za siku hizi u dance where you drink, not very my style. i love dancing.

9. Mocha! - May 15, 2007

Where you be??? I was tapod kitambo by Aco and done my bit. Pitia boma and soma.
Nice to know these facts about you! 😉

all in the spirit of sharing!

10. betty - May 15, 2007

enyewe am with inexes that ka photo i was asking wassup with the kifua lol!
Now you, you sound veeery an interesting man 😉

enyewe mi ni msupuu lakini mtakonfuse aje huyo msupuu zaidi na hii nyangarika? interesting? okay, let me stop being like a kenyan and say ‘thanks’. lakini, kama vile niliambia komi, nitawaachia mdecide.

11. Milo - May 15, 2007

Assi
Was wondering why you hadnt posted in ages kumbe link yangu isha-expire ikipoint bado kwa bogs-plot aish!!!
Are you Kajairo by any chance??

was also wondering mbona umelost bana…until i got on my mouse-tubishi and came to your digs. kajairo hana dreadi. huchana nywele yake vityt msee. nope, not him.

12. felixplicit - May 15, 2007

n u sed am crazy…he he, are u by any chance doing attacho in that school of crazy arts?..i mean mathare?
great post lakini…modo athi!

13. egm - May 15, 2007

I’m with Milo! Hadi I somad your comment on his, I had completely sahaud you had moved digz. That’s been rectified. Now to catch up…

14. egm - May 15, 2007

#2 I hate the limelight too! Na choir nitaimba. But ati kupanda stage solo? Sahau!
#3 I hate being asked to do something in a manner to suggest I have no option but to do it, whereas in actuality it’s a favour I’m doing for you. Tuko pamoja!
#4 Go with the flow guy, eh? Same here.
#5 Ditto! I love I work in a place where jeans are the norm!

a chip off the same block

15. Nandy - May 15, 2007

The Modo mystery continues…….

na bado…

16. Be Silent - May 16, 2007

I know those hands, the shoes, the finger, the office so i have figured out who u a

you know nothing! hehe. i know who i am too.

17. farmgal - May 16, 2007

Si you just pot you pic vizuri..me I dont like being teased with those kind of shots.
Good list and in kikwetu! You do come across as laid back.

ok, i’ll stop taking them.

18. nusumbili - May 16, 2007

I FOUND YOU!
Already Tagged! trying to start my word press thingy!

i’ve been here all along. was wondering why you had nyamazad. yeah i noticed ulipatikana tayari…

19. Chatterly - May 16, 2007

your post is great!
and i am with farmgal on this one…weka pic vizuri tuone modo:-)

20. Princess - May 17, 2007

Nicely done!!

21. aegeus - May 21, 2007

Dude! I check in late for the party..where everybody at? Thanks for sharing! And he lifts one side of the cloak….

22. Kirima - May 24, 2007

Very good post now I think I have a pretty good picture of you that is the one you will let us see.

23. cf76d4d7a382b239137220afd21fc52b - July 7, 2007

cf76d4d7a382b239137220afd21fc52b

cf76d4d7a382b239137220afd21fc52b

24. SAMMIE - November 25, 2008

UNAKUWANGA UKINIMBAMBA SINGEPENDE UWE KARIBU NIKIHANYA COZ UTANISLICE


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