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Abdallah na Mohamed May 31, 2007

Posted by modoathii in Uncategorized.
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(grammatical, E&OE….i was higher than a kite writing this) 

Basi kuna jamaa mmoja anayeitwa Abdallah na mwenzake Mohamed wanaoishi kuleee mombasa, sehemu za pwani yaani, na ambao pia ni wenye gari moja murwa aina ya Volkswagon Beetle. Gari lenyewe ni la rangi ya buluu, wazungu na watu wa bara huiita sky blue.

Abdallah basi naye hii asubuhi kaangalia juu na kaona hali ya hewa ni safi. Jua pale limewaka poa. Hamna mawingu hewani.

“Mohamed,” kasema Abdallah “twende Nairobi City leo?”

“Saa huu?” kauliza Mohamed huku akiamka kutoka usingizi wake mdogo yaani napu.

“Saa hii, saa hii!” kasisitiza Abdallah.

Mohamed naye ni mpenda raha za ghafla na hakufikiria mara mbili. Alikuwa asharuka na kuingia kwenye gari lao la aina ya beetle.

“Ah, Moha bana,” kashangaa Abdalla “banawe hata huja fikiria mambo ya mavazi tutakapo kaa.”

“Hayo tutashugulikia mbele nawe, aaah!” kamrudishia Mohamed. “Safari ni ya masaa kama nane, watishwa na nini? Tutafikiria la kufanya njiani. We twende!”

Abdallah hakuwa na lakusema ye tu kaenda na kuingia mle chumbani na kuanza kujitayarisha. Baada ya dakika kama kumi na tano alikuwa tayari.

Akafunga nyumba na kufuli wanaoamini cha TRICIRCLE na kuingia kwenye kiti cha dereva.

“Moha?”

“Naam?”

“Uko tayari?”

“Ndio kaka. Niko tayari”

“Twenzetu basi!”

Safari nayo ikaanza bila vishasha. Wakapita daraja ya Nyali na wakaingia taon senta. Leo ikiwa siku ya Jumamosi hakuwa na jam. Baada ya sekunde kadha…haya basi..baada ya dakika kadha, walitoka nje ya city. Walipita Causeway bila hitilafu na pia kwa bahati njema na usaidizi mwema kutoka kwa Mungu waliweza kupita pale Mariakani. Wakapita Voi na mambo sasa ilikuwa kama wazungu wanavyosema tena…SMOOTH SAILING.

NOT FOR LONG. Loh, hawakuwa wameenda mbali na Voi, hata ungeangali kioo cha nyuma ungeona moshi kutoka hoteli moja waliokuwa wanatayarisha chakula cha mchana, gari lao, lile mzee mzito anayeitwa Hitler aliyeundisha, lilipoanza kuleta shida.

Doh, Abdallah kacheza na clutch lakini hakuwa na bahati. Gari lika kohoa moja. Mbili. Na ta…ikajizima. Abdallah na Mohamed wakaangaliana. Wakajiuliza wafanyaje.

“We Abdallah kaangalie mle mbele uangalie nini mbaya na gari hili.” Mohamed kasema.

Abdallah kashuka gari kaelekea mle mbele kufanya INVESTIGASHENI! Kainua bonnet…

“LAHAULA! MOHAMED! Gari kweli linashida.”

“Nini mbaya?”

“Mohamed, hamna engine!”

“Ati?”

“Nakuambia, gari hili halina engine banaa. Ndio imekwama.’

Mohamed kaenda piakujiangalilia maajabu haya ya Musa.

“Doh doh doh DOH! Kweli Abdallah. Sasa tuliiangusha engine wapi tena?”

Walisimama hapo kando ya gari lao wakishangaa aje engine iliweza kutoka bila wao kujua. Katika ile hali ya DESPERASHENI, Mohamed kaenda kuangalia nyuma kuona kama ata pata kamba wavurute gari.

“ABDALLAH! ABDALLAH WE!” Mohamed aliwika huku akiwa na furaha.

“Nini mbaya tena?”

“Abdallah, muzungu mjanja. Mzungu mjanja. Mzungu katengeneza spare”

It’s a joke story I heard on one of my many drinking sprees. The names have been changed to save the real characters and because I couldn’t remember the original names. Blame it on Vodo.

BONUS JOKE!
(If you’ve heard it before, just like the story…too bad)

One car asked a Volkswagen Beetle; “Why are your eyes so BIG?
Volkswagen replies; “How would you feel if you had an engine up your butt”

And with that I leave to head to our office pub, drink silly, ogle (maybe get to know better) at some fly mamas and then head off to Carni or F twanganganganganganga to start my long weekend.

Mjienjoy!

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Comments»

1. betty - May 31, 2007

position taken, yeeey!!…sikumaliza kusoma, ish si ni ndefu then pia mimi am kidogo ish..ntarudi.

2. egm - June 1, 2007

Ati this actually happened? You jest! Haya, furahi weekend!

like i said, siasa za ulevini

3. Sue - June 1, 2007

LOL!! Now that was funny.. ANd I ask like EGM, was it for real… hehehehe…
Nice weekend too.. LOL

ulevini

4. Bomseh - June 2, 2007

This one has a different switch. The one I heard was about a cop who discovered that a car had no engine. Upon being told iko huko nyuma, and everything else was in order, he still wanted a bribe so he asked, “gari inafaa kubeba watu ngapi?” and the lone dere said “mtu nne” the cop asked him why he was alone then arrested him for underloading. The extent to which Kenyan cops can find fault in you no matter what, wacha tu.

now that one is also hilarious!

5. betty - June 2, 2007

lmao @ bomseh ati for underloading.
oooh modo>.lol it wasnt long at all, see wat alcohol does?
that storo is hilarious!

i do know what alcohol does…oh i do know!

6. Klara - June 2, 2007

LOL! So funny of u modo, now u had me crackin hard

i take a bow…and almost topple over

7. betty - June 4, 2007

ish modo rudi utupatie post ingine..am tired of refreshing the page every 1/2 hr bana!!

easy gal friend….easy. i have a post coming up oh you will love to see. watch this space. a few days. chill.

8. aegeus - June 7, 2007

Well told. How did i miss this post? **smacks himself across the head, ile ya juu, get your minds out of the gutter** Najua variation moja ya ii inayohusu manzi..heheheheheh!!!

9. phassie - June 17, 2007

LOL.. that was funny


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