My random eight…coz she forced me to…

Who she be? Gishungwa. The sweet orange. I was politely minding my business when BAM! “I have tagged you…check my blog for details” and indeed on her blog were the details and instructions, and here they are….

The Rules are:-
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
So I had to sit my arse down and think of eight random things about me…things I think I haven’t already mentioned.Now that we have that out of the way…here are my random eight…

4. I never forget birthdays, but I DO forget to carry presents/cards.

I have never understood this. Yaani I will remember your birthday lakini when invited to come for the party ama when coming to see you, I forget to carry a present or even a card. It’s my cuzo who always reminds me. Like I always jitetea…it’s the thought that counts.

7. I own three combs.

Don’t ask why, yet I never use them, even when Ididn’t have dreads. So it’s also no surprise when I tell you I own no mirrors. The one I have belongs to another miscellaneous mama who left it there…she felt woiye for me. But najua vile ninakaa so sio lazima nijione…shauri yako kama niko na alama ya white kwa face.

1. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, fazes me…

I mean this is life we live in. And we know that life throws us anything and everything, so why not be real about it? Every time I wake up I expect anything and everything from anyone and everyone. Hope for the best expect the worst. And when I encounter it I deal with it…sio ati nianze kuworry…sijui ‘why me?, o-oo, why now?’. Ziiii. Those are BOGOF ulcers waiting to happen. You meet thugs, if you can’t hepa them, give them everything and walk away smiling (na ukidedishwa…umededi…what more is there to worry about?). It’s over it’s happened. Move on. And that’s why I’m always a happy child…if I don’t encounter an obstacle in 5 seconds, I’ll smile about it. Like aegeus said on his post…STRESSED spelt backwards is DESSERTS… I approach problems from the back…ambush them. Don’t let them ambush you…And yeah, there’s a gospel song that says (can’t quite remember verbatim) but the general message is kama kuna problem..kuna solution. LAZIMA!

6. I’m a messy guy…

Wait, that may have come out wrong. I am a messy guy…that’s better, but it’s organised mess. Just like organised crime…here is organised mess. Why lie? Initially things will be neat but if something becomes askew, it will stay that way….lakini despite the mess I know where everything is even in that mess. Zima lights I will remove that bra, you lost last night (aside…sio ati na lalanga na wanawake saaaaana…kidogo tu). Dare you mess, in this case, clean up, my mess…My mess is neat leave it that way. I’ll take care of it. I made it, I’ll fix it.

3. I don’t have a price.

So I believe and so I try to keep it that way. You know how you say, ruka ndani ya hii maji nikupe ngiri…NEVER! I have my integrity. I will not compromise it by doing silly stunts for money..I would rather you walk around saying about me…“there goes dooaz, nifala, kamekata kufua nguo zangu nimpe ten G“ than ati “ndio yule dooaz, he such a low guy, yaani he kubalid to wash my clothes for ten G…si i told you every man has his price.“ Not dooaz. Or Modo, for that matter. If you want me to wash your clothes, just ask…if I can, I’ll do it, don’t carrot-dangle it. I don’t need money thaaaaaat much. I operate on a ‘I have money what can i do’ basis than a ‘I need to do this so I need money’.

8. Therefore…I have simple dreams.

If Ihave any at all. Classic example, y’all know the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip? There was one where Calvin asks Hobbes what he wishes for. Hobbes simply says “a sandwich”. Calvin goes ballistic. He zushas, ati Hobbes should wish for super powers, world domination…no parents, no school and shit loads of stuff. In the last frame, we see Calvin gloomily eating a sandwich and a very happy Hobbes saying…”my wish came true”. I’m Hobbes, simple dreams…complete happiness! I mean, my dream car is a Landie!

5. I try never to keep anyone waiting…

Most of the time I’m always on time…the guy from Around the World in 80 Days is my hero…ever since kitambo..was’is name…Phileas Fogg. He was always on time for anything. If I’ll be late I’ll let you know early. If I’m late just know there is someone involved. Was waiting for foundashen to be applied. So I hope for the same courtesy (and expect the worst) hence a backup plan…usipokuja I’m so away)

2. I hate short hair…
Interesting enough, sio ati I like/love dreads either. The reason I put them was ‘coz I was tired of my own hair. Have plaited, blow dried, combed, not combed…everything you could ever do with hair except cut it of course and karanga it. So the reason I still have my dreads is ‘coz I’d have to shave, meaning a month or two of terribly short hair…NO THANKS!

bonus…

I LOVE SUDOKU (and eating)!

…and other brain challenging stuff. No wonder I love problems. It’s my chance to be creative in how I deal with them. As for the eating bit…I’ll eat anything so long as it’s edible (except pumpkin). So I don’t fear trying new stuff. Foodwise or otherwise.

Now that that is painfully out of the way…I need to tag somebarre. Eight sambarres. Hamna bahati…

one, Bantu…and in english please.
two, Bomseh…say something, eight somethings.
three, Jade…you kitten, a-meow-se us
four, k.i.p.u.s.a…e.i.g.h.t p.l.e.a.s.e
five, boyflani…tupe vitu nane flani
six, ichiena…itch away at some (at least you’ll update ur blog)
seven, wanja…stop your search for a guy and sema vitu nane
and finally
eight, phassie…don’t go too ati phaaaa….