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Marto on a ho…(yawn)…ot date! July 27, 2007

Posted by modoathii in Uncategorized.

Nobody really knows how Marto met his, as per her, one and only. But all that is known it wasn’t the Mills and Boon kind of meeting. Knowing Marto, it’s nowhere near. I can vouch for that. But one thing is for sure, this girl really had an effect on him. So we thought.

He would be seen shopping for new clothes. Well, technically not new NEW, but as Marto always told us, “mtumba pia ni mpya. At least kwangu”. When cornered as to why he was shopping, he revealed, rather we made an ASS out of U and ME, and assumed it was because of the upcoming date.

In the days that followed, however, by privilege of being his best buddies (his apology application is still being sorted out…but this was juicy and we expedited approval), anyway, yeah, by being his buddies, me and Othis were able to really know why he was buying clothes. Marto had a date! With this new chick.

STOP PRESS! Read, mouths agape.


Now that indeed was news. Othis tried pinching him, just to see if he was for real, to some bloody repercussions. I who knew better just tried to corner him with questions. But, this is Marto we are talking about…he just looked at me and gave me this blank look….





Yep, like that. Then walked away.

Days leading to the date, he’d ask about the best places to take a chick. The best place to buy cards. Where to find the best roses. How to behave. Now he was scaring us. This negro ain’t for real. I was tempted to pinch him…WAIT! Why was I pinching him? I just needed to pinch myself.


Okay, it was real.

One day before the D-day…a Friday, he was seen walking home with some nice hot clothes. So Marto DID have taste. He had chosen some tasteful clothes. A neat pair of jeans, some clean label kicks, a nice fitting jacket…man, the colours were matching. This dude was truly whipped. Now we were more scared. Gone will be the days of hilarious adventure. Welcome the days of nice quiet Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, afternoons, evening and nights.


Marto had to be stopped. But we couldn’t. When Marto sets his mind on something, even his favorite drink won’t make him change his mind. I called Muthemba hoping he’d help us. Muthemba almost beat us up. He was on Marto’s side.

Muthemba liked Marto and wished him well. And anyway, Muthemba was thinking long-term. He was counting on Marto, we laughed, to get children, we rolled on the floor laughing. Then since he was a great believer in “like father like son”, he was convinced that Marto’s brats, he got that right, would be like Marto and would be regular customers at his joint. So business would never die. Now that’s ambition.

We resigned ourselves to fate.

On the date day, we passed by Marto’s house to wish him well. What we saw gave us hope. Okay, he wasn’t there, but what was made us happy. Very happy.

On the clothes line were the clothes he had so carefully selected the other day. They were wet. Meaning he didn’t dress to impress the chick. One point to us.

On his door, was pinned a note. “Sorry Joe (his cousin) I waited for you but I had to go on my own date with this girl (he didn’t say beautiful, lovely, gorgeous…or any other adjective that would describe a fly-arse chick…half a point), below are the joints I was told are nice to take a chick. I haven’t gone to any. I have my own special place I’m taken her. Enjoy. Marto.”

Three, four and five points to us. So that’s why Marto was checking out nice joints…for his cousin, not for him. But he had said a special place…minus two points.

So in half-celebration, half-sorrow, we went to our favorite joint…no, not Magegania bar. We walked in and said our hallos then walk straight to our special corner, and who do we see…

MARTO! and his new-find. So that’s the special place? I get it, Marto always called that corner we sat ever weekend “very special to me.”

Damn! She’s fly too. Marto does have taste. But clearly she doesn’t. Othis salivated and I could see ideas forming in his head.

We held him back. It’s Marto’s chick.

“But he’s asleep.” Odhys defended himself.


Marto had blacked out on the chiley’s lap.

Marto was back!

Marto apparently was nervous, so he had stopped by the bar and quickly gulped down shots and double shots of vodoski…need I say more? Okay, I will…this chiley was really smitten by Marto…they are still together (lucky bastard guy). And the hilarious adventures are back.


1. Klara - July 27, 2007

Fao??? WOW!..
Modo siku hizi ni story tu! Just pitiad wacha I go back chambua….

Hadithi hadithi…hadithi njoo! That’s what it’s mostly about.

2. betty - July 27, 2007

booking position!

3. Gishungwa - July 27, 2007

Marto it back Yaay! off to read.


4. Gishungwa - July 27, 2007

this chiqitta can only stay if she allows marto to be marto. Modo, now that marto is forgiven, can the adventures begin

apparently she has managed to do just that. well marto can’t be changed…

5. Inexess - July 27, 2007

Stop hating!!! Go Go Go Marto

PS: Mzeeeiya cheki huko kwangu – uko na job 😉

marto, can’t be stopped…we don’t hate him…hatumpendi tu! job tena?

6. Kirima - July 27, 2007

He he nice story I need to catch up with the earlier escapades of Marto but I am already liking the dude.

oh, he’s lovable to others…not us. he’s a nice guy all in all. beste kabisa. i don’t think i’d die for him though, but i need not worry…he’ll kill us all anyway.

7. Mocha! - July 27, 2007

Wacha I pitia the post again…forgot what I wanted to sema.

happens to the best of us…no wait! it doesn’t!

8. wambui junior - July 27, 2007

nice story. nice on the girl to let him sleep, Marto must be something. btw I like the new comment layout

oh he is something alright! thanks.

9. egm - July 27, 2007

It’s good we’ll continue getting the Marto Tales recounted to us. Ati he is now with a woman?

his tales are like the arabian nights…a thousand and one. oh, he’s happily settled…though the chick isn’t!

10. three types of crazy - July 27, 2007

why were you all UP in Martos business MODO? Do tell. You know about his love letters while in boardng school and now you know how his clothes hang out to dry? whisper in this ear – do you have multiple personalities?.R u marto?

it’s not me up in his business, with his antics you can’t just escape his business…coz he’s usually involving all of us. somehoww. me, marto? NEVER!

11. three types of crazy - July 27, 2007

when I view your blog, I wave, can you see me there with your fly shades?

i wave back. of course i see you..hapo in the next bed pale mathare…

12. Mocha! - July 27, 2007

LOL….@ 3TOC waving! Chic, you is mad!

Modo….hilarous stuff here with Marto. Leave the poor dude alone. So after the point taking….what were you left with? Minus *insert figure here*


Have a nice weekend!

wish i could leave him alone. he needs us….as much as we avoid him. minus gani…points were all ours…ngoja unajua hesabu nilipata F na D (Fabulously Daft)

13. bobby - July 28, 2007

LOL LOL LOL ok ok this was hilarious … but seriously why you all hating uh uh ….. Yow mi yute unoo loww the man nuh…. a little jamaica there for you Modo

we na hatin mon, we feel nut’in but loww for ma mon…kool dude. cheers. welcome back…next time drop in with some weed…nys mon…t’anks!

14. betty - July 28, 2007

ooookay..great now Marto blacks out on his chiles lap and Othis is there ready to nyemelea said chile?loool and aki that mama must’ve been smitten foreal, bado amekaa kwa corner specio with marto blacked out before the date.

the friends i keep. smitten is an understatement!

15. eddie - July 28, 2007

Marto…..Marto…marto…crazy charactor indeed..

get his neeeecccccc…………..k,

you don’t know halff of it…

16. Half n Half - July 30, 2007

DAMN! why is Marto back? but enyewe that dude is hialrious! so accept his apologies! you know your life has been boring without him!

Lakini that chick? letting a dude sleep on her (please tell me I read the word “lap” ) on the first date!

long time no see…welcome back. marto DID come back, hawezi hepa maisha yetu. true, if it wasn’t for him i’d still be ringing the church bell every sunday. the chick was smitten.

17. bantutu - July 30, 2007

Si Unaona!!! Naona…
Saaa unawaona? Nawaona
Unaona akikuona? Naizo shades kweli?
Si Modo!! Uyo Wazimu Marto wako na yeye hapo?

Return of Magegania supremest!!! No wonder detour za weekenddi!! Ati “Don touch that is Marto’s chille?” Ok. am I missin somethin? Heheheeh!!

18. Shee - July 30, 2007

LOL at Mato. How do you Keio on your first date? And that chic kweli liked Mato. Yaani she’s still there??

And you are hating on the guy now. Kwani it’s sooo abnormal for him to have a chic?? LOL

And this Othis guy.. Hmmmm [no comment]

19. eddie - July 31, 2007

……And this Othis guy.. Hmmmm [no comment]…..

@shee, can i fill in…

20. kipusa - July 31, 2007


21. inexess - July 31, 2007

Kwani modo your compe ni mzee mpaka inakushow tu post wadhii waliandika 2 weeks ago?? Ni kii muuru wa nyumba??

22. inexess - July 31, 2007

Compe=COMP!! eish

23. 3N - July 31, 2007

marto is truly a lucky fellow – a chile who lets you blackout on her on first date is truly keeper / wifey material.

@modo you need to unleash a storo or two on Othis…

24. aegeus - August 1, 2007

The lucky bugger! Get a hot mama, who even when he is blekid she will stand by her man!

25. betty - August 1, 2007

eeeh i support 3N..Othis even me am suspecting kidogo like this has had his share of drama!
and si its time for the next post already!!

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