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After the break! March 20, 2008

Posted by modoathii in Uncategorized.
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The slow ones like me were in the cafeteria feasting on ‘nuts’, the fast ones were on the track burning each other out and the fit ones were in the gym out-lifting each other when it becomes ‘hot’. Chaos is the middle name that describes the moment. Excitement is the other.

 

“MEN!” shouted the commander above the excitement. “The moment of truth is here. It’s been a while, many months actually before we saw some action. The last batch that went out before you tried to do this battalion proud, but they didn’t get far. At least not as far as they had hoped. Today men, it’s your turn I’m not promising you much either. You may or may not make it, but if you do___”

 

The crowd was alive and surged forth.

 

“HEY! Aaaargh! Crap. Have to cut this speech short. AGAIN! Damn, this always happens. My speeches never last more than a minute.”

 

The guys at the back are in a hurry. The guys at the front have already gone. In a few excited seconds we are all in the escape shaft swimming for the exit. Whatever is out there won’t know what is coming. Or will it?

 

The guys in front collide with something. And we all come crashing on top of them. The shaft is closed. But by what? We can see outside but we can’t get there. So here we are, a million-plus of us. Stranded. Trapped. Locked in yet outside.

 

“Well men,” says the commander. “same as usual. Dead end.”

 

Everyone is understandably upset. We can’t go forth. And we can’t go back. We can never go back. We knew once you left the duplex apartment, that was it, there was no turning back. Like kamikaze pilots.

 

Sniff.

 

Something doesn’t smell right. Smells fishy actually.

 

Hey. We are moving again. Pouring one after the other into some velvety openness. We are free!

 

“Men, it’s a miracle. But I warn you, they won’t be happy. Do your thing. First one there is…”

 

No one is listening to him but we all know the drill. It is first come, first service.

 

We are now in this great vastness. Somehow I can’t help but feel I’m in heaven. Some kind of Valhalla. It is warm. And thanks to my amazement with the current surroundings everyone passes me on their way to the prize.

 

I awake from my daydream. I swim as fast as I can to to try and catch up with the guys. I manage to catch and pass a few guys. Then it’s over. Just like that. No more swimming.

 

Of course I wasn’t first, didn’t expect to be, but this whole situation, which I now understand, has me smiling. Has me laughing. I am still laughing when I see many dejected fast and fit guys walk past with their heads held low in shame.

 

“I should have won”, “It was mine.”, “I actually saw it.”, “I almost touched it.” and so on, is all they can mumble. Someone has beaten them to the prize. Someone was faster. Someone was fitter. I didn’t really care to know who it was. All I know, one of us has done it. Reached his, and everyone else’s, goal.

 

I am happy.

 

Happy to explore this new environment.

 

Happy to know I won’t stay here for long. It smelt of fish.

 

Happy because we had broken through.

 

Happy that in 9 months everyone would know, for sure, we broke through.

 

——————

 

Soooooo, question, what happens when the condom breaks.

Note: This is not my story.

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Comments»

1. 31337 - March 20, 2008

F I R S T! Well this thing ^ told me to be the first!

2. 31337 - March 20, 2008

oh man! this is art, deadly stuff, ha ha, it smelled of fish eh? 😀

3. Jadekitten - March 20, 2008

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Why is the disclaimer in italics? Hmmmm?

4. 31337 - March 20, 2008

Bananage! Jadekitten, you still blogging? ha ha! The dust at your place is astonishing, drop one post like this mbu we may even read it.

5. Xs - March 21, 2008

For a moment there -before i saw the disclaimer i thought you had become a sperm! Lol

6. nzembi - March 21, 2008

Lol

7. 3N - March 21, 2008

LMAO!!

We have the story of Raba Joni, now the Army…we need a view from the inside, what does she see coming?

from the sea of warm complex desires with the occasional lets all go crazy and ‘paint the town red’….

we need to recruit a kbw miss to let us in into the vessel of all man’s problems and happiness

say the pursuit of herpeness…

8. Wanja - March 24, 2008

LOL happy fishy story indeed……ati what happens when the condom breaks? Make sure she swallows the MA pill by hook or crook then run to a VCT center and make sure you revisit after 6months….among other things

9. kip - March 24, 2008

interesting manenos hapa @ modo…. lol ari raba jobi in th army @ 3N?

10. boyfulan¿ - March 25, 2008

kwisha maneno, when is the birthday modo ni come na nappy?
😀

11. Sybella - March 25, 2008

lol… interesting… so whose story is it since you have denied it?

12. Phassie - March 26, 2008

LMAO! I was thoroughly entertained. You never disappoint me!

Good Times!

13. prettylyf - March 26, 2008

rotflol

14. archer - March 27, 2008

I was wondering what all this was about…KUMBE!!!

15. farmgal - March 27, 2008

After the break there’s a 24/36 hour pill not too sure but kuna dawa. How’z you?

16. valentia - March 27, 2008

lol!!!!….interesting

17. pilato - March 29, 2008

Sasa kindu ngani hii, ati askali ya fita? Iko kindu apa…

18. crystal - March 31, 2008

tick tock tick tock tick tock 🙂 …hmmm, @ 3N, i know someone who might give that a shot…too bad the balls got crushed. 😦

19. archie4 - March 31, 2008

er…looks like i’m jumping in half way here…but seems like as good an initiation as any…not quite the kbw m[r]i[s]s but may i try 3N?

20. Gish - March 31, 2008

LMAO.do we smell another baby shower in the making, Hallo Biashara street?

21. Nakeel - March 31, 2008

Lol thats so interesting.. EEh Gish was thinking the same…

22. In response to 3N… « Stranger than fiction - March 31, 2008

[…] to help my learning curve, I’m snooping around blogosphere and bumped into this, or more specifically, Comment number 7, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I don’t quite […]

23. majonzi - April 1, 2008

haven’t been here in a while either… so whose story is it anyway? The Other Modo?

24. ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- - April 1, 2008

This was brilliant. Those who know me well, my names are Twi Hem. May be I should give you my second name which is an acronym for Herald of Extreme Metaphor.

The response to 3N by stranger does not match to this one. Lets have a lady do it.

25. Cante - April 2, 2008

You really had me going there!

26. Kei - April 3, 2008

Ok… u r nuts for sure…. wait, u already said they r not urs….. so whose are they… and who’s the (un)lucky lady?

27. Wambui - April 8, 2008

This is my favourite post ever! It took me a minute to ‘get’ what it was about…the image is too funny!

28. mudskippah - April 9, 2008

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (a.k.a LOL). “It smelt of fish” you madman!


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